Brownies and values

I got fed up. Fed up with counting calories, fed up with recording all foods eaten and drink drunk. No weight loss. Is that coz I have been eating too few cals? Also fed up with obsessing about all this. So I took yesterday as a day off, eat what I wanted, not record it and not obsess. Did it work? No not really, I found myself inadvertently portion controlling and sizing up calories. I woke up this morning determined to be more normal about things and shouted at myself for being so anal.

Then the grandkids came for the day and we made brownies, no healthy version either, full fat, sugar the lot. Yummy. I ate 2 small ones. Luckily I had to fight the grandson for bowl licking rights and lost! Now I am trying to figure out what I ate and why? Questions questions. No answers.

Keep the calories in control to the figure they should be, each day every day. Maybe I should zig zag, up one day down the next? I want my brain to stop thinking on this....I want to lose weight, I want to be able to exercise, that is a big no no. So I must be content to lose a little weight and keep at it longer. All I really want to do is to scream "it's not fair" I want a normal life, a normal way to lose weight, having come to terms with why I over eat and controlling it it is so frustrating when I cannot exercise to help the weight loss.

So be it, it's another day, another challenge, one more ting to come to terms with and deal with. I'm good at that..........