Travelling light

Travelling is supposed to be a pleasure, remember the days of travelling when flight was glamorous and we all had to look our best? Now we are crammed into increasingly small spaces and shuttled around the world in “cattle” class. In fact I have a sneaky suspicion that if animals were treated in this manner the animal rights protesters would be up in arms. We humans however pay a small fortune for the privilege....

The magazines lay out their summer spreads with details of how to travel with style and elan and how to look our best when we arrive. Have they actually travelled in an economy seat to a European destination? I think not, but we will still all buy the magazines and imagine ourselves jetting off first class to an exotic location. I am not sure either that after looking around the airport that the message of stylish comfortable outfits has permeated to all. Who would think to travel by air in 4 inch stiletto ankle cuff boots? Paired of course with an impossibly tight pair of skinny jeans. Then there are those who think nothing of jetting off in what amounts to their pyjamas, okay I know they are comfy but so are my slippers and dressing gown and I do not go out in those. Critical moi?

Ah the delights of the capsule wardrobe as well, duly trotted out for the start of holiday season, year in year out. Lay out your clothes, then half them? Or some such nonsense. 3 bikinis, a wrap and a couple of evening outfits. Yeah right. How could this be? Maybe in some alternate reality where you are a size 6 and plan to spend all day every day by the pool. What if you want to spend just a small portion of your time sight seeing your chosen location and not contributing to future skin cancer and bad ageing? There also is the question of what if you are not a small and perfect size and have lumps and bumps that need more cover? Do we let out standards drop because we are away from home or do we attempt to pack elegantly, usefully with a 15kilo allowance? I plump of course for the latter but then I am plump........ with standards. Even if my boobs are making an escape bid from my top as I type!

I am of course looking forward to my holiday, Crete here I come, ouzo, red wine and baklava just a few hours away. All I have to do is survive this crammed and uncomfortable flight...... Did I speak too soon? A sudden bout of turbulence has us all returning to our seats......